Learning to live without someone and finding peace




Learning to live without someone definitely has its challenges.  It can leave us depressed if the loss is due to death. This depression comes in waves that can feel crushing but through the depression comes a sense of peace.  It is hard to understand until you experience it.  I guess the best way to explain it is that you feel a calm blanket of love come over you while also feeling like you’re getting a bear hug from the one you lost and you just know they are okay. It brings tears of joy and a warm heart filled with love. 



Each day I am reminded of the love my mother had for her husband, her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. It shines in the smiles and laughter when my grandson points to her picture and says “Great-gramma”.  It is in the memories of her colouring with him and playing hot wheels, in the memories of the time she held her great-granddaughter and fed her, in the silly pictures with my daughters from when they were little or even in the cooking that is done because she taught us the recipes. She shared in events while my girls were growing up, watching them play soccer or sing or dance. She smiled a huge smile every time she got to spend time with them.  When my oldest first drive cross country by herself to spend time with her grandma it meant more to mom than she ever said but I knew it. When my youngest did the same it was another treasure to mom that she never fully expressed. She was always full of love and they knew she loved them immensely.  

As time passes since her death we have all learned how to deal with the loss in our own ways. We have all picked up the phone to call her and have had the sudden remembrance that she’s gone. We all cried because we can’t talk to her and we will for a long time yet. There will be times when we long for that warm hug which was filled with love. We all know that she is with us - forever because you are always with us. And so it is with everyone we have lost - they are always with us. 


This is what comforts me but everyone is different. If you are sad and feel a sudden warm blanket of love surround you then know you your loved one is near.  Let the peace cover you in love.  Remember the memories and smile a hug smile. Always know that you had your loved one with you in life and that they are watching over you now. 


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