Remember past lives

  

It seems extraordinary but it is true.  Sometimes people really do remember their past lives but not everyone remembers them with in-depth details.  As far back as I can remember I have had glimpses of past lives.  As a young child it led me to fantasize about the past and I really got into history as a result.  I am still eager to learn about history and sometimes something I that learn brings back a memory from that time period in which I lived.   It is, however, a burden at times to remember the past.  Sometimes a memory can bring with it an emotional rollercoaster that can take some time to recover from.  To know your past lives can be a burden at times. Sometimes you meet someone from a past life and you just know that you know them and other times you see your entire life with that person unfold before your eyes. If the other person remembers it can be magically and bring forward emotions that can come up at various times. Some past life connections can be complicated to understand even if both people do understand why.

A few years ago I met a group of women that I had past life connections with. I didn’t know exactly when at first but I knew I knew their souls. One has become one of my best friends and we’ve known each other a few times throughout time. Another was a friend who has since lost her way but it is her lesson to learn in this lifetime. And so it goes on with these women. I remember bits and pieces of many of my lifetimes and in most of them I died tragically.

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My earliest memory, my first life, was of Atlantis.  Sounds a bit crazy to some but I can not only see the city of Atlantis, I can feel and smell it as if I am there.  I remember have young siblings and being nearly 10 years older than they were.  My mother was a healer and my father was a leader but I do not remember details of what they did.  I remember my father as a strong man who was well respected and yet he was very loving towards his family and always attentive to his wife.  I remember my mother as a vessel of love for everyone that she touched and talked to.  I was nearly 10 years old when my own gift of healing became evident.  I had been on an outing with a group of children and a teacher.  There was an old woman had fallen and needed help getting up.  My teacher was preoccupied with the students but I had wandered to the woman to help her.  I touched her arm and felt a rush of love fill me and travel down my arm through my hand to her arm.  She smiled as she stood up and gave me a hug then turned away.  When she turned back she appeared to be slightly younger and had a sparkle in her eyes.  I smiled at her and the ran to catchup with my class.  That night I told my mother about what had happened that day.  At first she seemed concerned but also relieved.  Over the next few years she had my brother and sister but she also spent time with me teaching me how to better use my gift.  As the years passed there was trouble in Atlantis and it grew dangerous for us to wander the city.  I don’t remember exactly what happened but I remember the day in which I died.  There was a war going on and someone had tried to get to my brother and sister at the nursery.  I had gathered them up and we were on our way to the temple which seemed to be the safest place in Atlantis.  I could see the temple as we got closer but something was wrong.  I felt a sharp pain in my chest and it was hard to breathe.  I looked down and saw blood and the fear in my little sister’s eyes.  My little brother was frozen in place looking up with terror in his eyes.  I looked up and saw a building falling towards us.  I covered my brother and sister to protect them as the building fell on us.  Everything went black.  I had died trying to protect them. 

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My second life I remember very little about except that it was a long time ago.  I was a very young monk who lived alone in a cave in a mountain.  I did not speak and am unsure I could if I had wanted to.  It was a silent and solitude life but I wasn’t very old either, perhaps 10 or 12 years old.  There was snow and very little wood.  I remember being tired and cold then I don’t remember anything else. 

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My third life I remember I had a daughter.  I lived in Jerusalem and remember my daughter only because of a friend I met in this lifetime.  When I met her I knew she had been my daughter and I envisioned the city of Jerusalem and a hilltop.  I also had a painful feeling in the center of my hands.  I have tried to remember more but really cannot. 

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My fourth life memory is a bit strange.  I don’t remember much except that I was in Babylon surrounded by people who were all talking in different languages.  My memory flash brought me to a marketplace type area and I was a woman draped in a head covering that I could barely see out of.  There was a lot of chaos around me with fire and fighting.  I remember being bumped into and then a lot of pain in my chest and then nothing else.

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My fifth life memory was something I experienced when I first tried to learn to swim as a child.  I remembered being loved by my mother who was dying while holding my hands.  There was a woman in blue next to her named Mary who was attending to her.  My father was upset about something and was at the door wringing his hands.  The woman in blue hugged me and then went to my father to say something.  He was crying and she was pleading that he not take me.  He grabbed my hand and took me to the river and held my head under the water until I died.  I didn’t remember this life until I met another friend in this lifetime.  When I met her I couldn’t breathe and felt like I was underwater.  After a meditation I remembered this little bit of our lifetime together and it made sense. 

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My sixth life memory came to me during a meditation.  The group I was meditating with had one lady that I was drawn to.  I kept calling her my teacher but she kept telling me I was wrong and that I was her teacher.  During a meditation I remembered being a monk in a temple where I was teaching young monks how to meditate.  I felt so at peace.  I have tried to go back to this memory but haven’t been able to get there. 

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My seventh life memory is still a blur but it is a painful blur.  I remember being at a Mayan temple as a young man and being tied willingly to a rock table.  I remember seeing a blade coming down toward me and then pain and darkness. 

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My eighth life memory came to me when I met one of my best friends in this lifetime.  I remember Ireland and feeling free and surrounded by nature.  I know I died and have a pain in my chest when I think of Ireland so I believe there may be some relation to the past life.

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In my ninth life memory I remember being a midwife who was never married and had no children of her own.  I remember my brother getting married and being the midwife for all of his children.  We lived in a remote part of Northern England on land that belonged to our family.  My sister-in-law had many children but something happened and I remember being stabbed with a sword in my back after a failed delivery. 

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My tenth life memory is one that is almost like me watching someone else’s life.  I was a handmaiden for a woman whose hand was won in battle.  It is a lifetime in which two friends from this lifetime were married under a red flag with a golden lion on it.  I remember the wedding but nothing afterwards.

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            My eleventh life memory is one I remember the most and in every detail.  During the early 1700’s I was born into a family as the youngest son of a business man in the England-Scotland area. I learned the import/export business as I grew up and was very good at it. When I turned 19 I had traveled with my father on a business trip to a city that was near the northern border where I met the most enchanting woman. She was slender and fair with strawberry blonde hair and bright green eyes. When our eyes met it was like a lightning bolt had struck me and I couldn’t catch my breath. She was in the marketplace with her mother and they were looking for seeds to grow some flowers in their garden. My eldest brother had traveled recently and brought back some seeds for the whitest Lilly I had ever seen. I plucked a white lily and gathered some seeds and chased after her through the marketplace. When I caught up to her I introduced myself and handed her the flower explaining that it was nearly beautiful as she was. She smiled and it made my heart melt. Her eyes had twinkled and she was beautiful and charming and my breath caught in my throat. Her mother told me I was a charming young man and in return I handed her the seeds and thanked her for her kind words. I asked for her daughter’s name and told her I’d like to court her if she and her father found me suitable. I asked if I may call upon the fair Rebecca Anne and her mother seemed hesitant but looked at Rebecca and seemed to know that Rebecca was as struck as I was. I knew I was in love the moment I saw Rebecca’s smile and I vowed to myself that I would win her hand. My father was less than pleased at my choice and told me that if I pursued the young woman then he would disown me. Her family did not come from wealth and he felt that I could do better. We returned home and my father swore he would never go back to that city. I took a few weeks to gather my belongings and all the money I had. My eldest brother bought me out of my share of the business and wished me well. When I left my family I knew I would not be returning and that I was going to win the heart of my love. My mother cried as I rode away from the only home I’d ever known.

A few months later I had established myself as a businessman in a town about a few hours ride north of when Rebecca lived. I was finally making money and connections with merchants and sailors who would ultimately become my partners. I had rented a small room whilst getting my business established. Rebecca’s father had called upon me one day to explain that he intended for his only daughter to have a life filled with everything she could desire. He did not believe I was fit enough to be that man. During our courtship Rebecca had told me that she wanted a house near the ocean with a flower garden like no other. That she wanted many children and never wanted a night away from her husband. She feared that I would travel and not be home nightly. What I hadn’t told her at the time was that I had a plan in place to never let that happen. I had already purchased the land on which I would build our home - the home she has told me of in detail. It took another few months to build the house and when it was completed I didn’t take her to see it first but rather her father. I wanted and needed his approval. As we rode I told him that I loved his daughter more than life itself. He seemed impressed as the house came into view.

I showed him the home I had built for his daughter. I explained to him that I would give her the world and never leave her side. And I told him that when they were nearing an old age I would build them a home nearby so that I could take care of them as well. He had four sons whom had all married and moved away. His eldest son was a farmer two days ride south of the city who had a wife and four children. The next son had become a sailor and traveled often but was married with two children. The next son was a military man who had established himself with a wife but no children yet. The youngest son lived down the street from him with his wife and child on the way. The youngest was going to take over the family business when he retired in his old age. I knew how important Rebecca was to him and I wanted him to know she was more important to me than the air in my lungs. It was then that he agreed for me to have Rebecca’s hand in marriage.

The day I asked Rebecca to marry me and she said yes was the day I bore my heart to her. I told her that she was my everything and in return I would give her everything she ever desired. When she said yes I captured her face in my hands and kissed her. My knees went weak and I tingled all over. I could barely catch my breath and neither could she. As I peered into her eyes I felt safe and trusted like I had never felt before. She trembled in my arms as I held her tightly and we were married a few weeks later. When her father gave her away he placed his hand on my shoulder and called me his son. My heart was overfilled with love.

Rebecca and I had an extremely passionate love life. We would make love at all times and nearly anywhere - it was hard to not give in to the desires we both felt so strongly. I told her that her fiery spirit matched her hair and it made her eyes dance with delight. Every night was passionate and filled with such powerful love. It took a few years but we had our first child - a son named Christian. Over the next 12 years Rebecca gave birth to several children but only 8 survived into adulthood. When we lost our first daughter she was just days old. We grieved together which caused us to grow even stronger together. It was shortly after that child’s death that her father informed me he would be retiring within a years’ time. In great detail I gathered what he wanted for a home and built it a few miles away. The land I owned was vast and I ensured her parents had everything they could desire. I hired a handmaiden to attend to them as they grew weaker over the years. When they died they were buried together in the cemetery we had started for our family beside their grandchildren who we had loved so much but who had not graced the earth for very long.

As our sons grew older they joined me in my business while our daughters learned gardening from Rebecca. Our eldest son eventually took over a majority share of the company which gave me more time to spend with Rebecca. We were older now with grandchildren. We had watched our children grow into men and women of honor who held the love we provided them within their hearts. We spent every moment together when possible well into our elderly years. I was nearly 80 years old when I was too tired to continue. I remember lying in bed holding Rebecca when I took my last breath as I slept. I had been surrounded my so much unconditional love that my passing was peaceful. I had fulfilled my promise to always give her everything she desired and to ensure her happiness.

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My twelfth past life memory is just a few pieces but it was a hard life.  In the early 1800’s I was born on a wagon train.  My parents were trying to find a new life in the west but only made it as far as what is now Oklahoma.  When I was a teenager our home was attacked by Indians who set the farmhouse on fire.  My mother saved me and was murdered while my father watched.  My father was scalped and left to die.  I was taken but escaped.  I ran into a town and was helped by a woman who owned a brothel.  She told me I could work there and pay off my debt.  After a few years I took over the brothel when she died.  I was close to 25 years old when a fight broke out in the brothel and I was shot and killed. 

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My thirteenth life was brief as well.  I only remember that I had run away and started a new life for myself in Detroit when I had found love.  He has proposed and I was so happy.  We were driving somewhere and there was an accident.  I remember the ring on my finger and looking at him when there was sudden pain of the impact of the other vehicle.  The car caught on fire and I remember the pain of the flames but then nothing else. 

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This is my fourteenth lifetime that I know of.   During this lifetime I have had readings in which I was told I had died in the 1500’s while being burned at the stake by the church in eastern Europe.  From that reading I was told I had been a man and part of the church but something had gone wrong.  The woman who gave me the reading described the church as looking very gothic styled and that I had a rosary in my hands when I burned.  She said I did not scream during the burning either but rather recited the rosary loudly.  I don’t remember that lifetime at all but I do have a familiarity with the Catholic church that makes it feel like home.  I have always been spiritual but when I feel lost I go to the church and sit and recite the rosary which makes me feel better.  This lifetime is the only life time I can remember having given birth to children as well.  When I was younger I felt like I was not going to live to be an adult.  When I became an adult and had children, I felt like I wasn’t going to live to see them grow up.  I ensured that they would not have to deal with my funeral by prepaying for it and I made sure that they would have insurance money to be well taken cared for.  My daughters are both adults now.  I have lived longer than I thought I was going to but I know there is a purpose in my life.  I have met wonderful women who have been part of my past lives and who are part of my spiritual tribe today.  I will always be thankful for them.

Reincarnation is not something everyone believes in but it does happen.  When you meet someone and you just click or you feel so comfortable around them that you trust them completely – you have a past together.   Sometimes the pull from the past can be extremely difficult with a particular soul.  The pull from the past can be overwhelming and confusing as well.  And sometimes that pull can ruin friendships.  It is hard to safe-guard yourself from that pull at times too.  When you find someone with that kind of connection it is best to be cautious.  I have found that it can become consuming mentally and emotionally to deal with that connection on your own.  For me writing has become my outlet for these feelings and it has greatly helped to keep me grounded.  Regarding how many more lives I may have, I am unsure.  One school of thought believes you only are reincarnated for 11 lifetimes before you find enlightenment. Another school of thought believes that you are reincarnated as many times as is necessary to attain the highest realization or enlightenment and that this can be countless times.  As I sit and wonder about how my past lives have influenced me today I also wonder about how they will influence me in the future.