Emotional pain and how to heal with meditation

Emotional pain and how to heal with meditation

Everyone goes through emotional pain at some point in their lives.  Emotional pain can actually be the worst pain to deal with - even worse than a broken bone.  The human mind triggers emotional reactions when something occurs that is not how we believe they should be.  We torment ourselves about choices we've made, words we've spoken and the path not taken.  Sometimes we dwell on the what-ifs of the past or future.  What if I had done it this way?  Would my present be different now?  What if I do this now?  Can my future be brighter?   We have created a prison of suffering and can find ourselves lost in the madness.  Let's be honest, we have a lifetime of conditioned beliefs and expectations that we filter our perceptions through.  We believe that the things that are external are why our lives are the way they are and why we are angry, depressed, anxious, or afraid.  But the reality is that the emotional pain is internal and was triggered by something externally.  To deal the emotional pain we must turn inward to understand the triggers and to understand how to let the pain go and find peace. 

There are many practices that can help you find your way back to your balance, well-being and peace.  Although some of these may seem easy things to do, they really are a lot harder than you realize. 

• Accept the feelings and invite them into being.  Resist the impulse to ignore the feelings you are experiencing.  We all do it.  We try to shrug them off and say we are fine but deep down we aren't.  Your best friend may have suddenly started ignoring you and now you're feeling isolated, angry, depressed, and hurt.  You need to experience the feelings to understand why and how to deal with them.  The emotions exist for a reason and if you don't face them they will fester and grow.
• Learn to see all the emotions you have going on, sorting them out one at a time and identifying them.  When you start to recognize them they flow through you like energy.
• If you are feeling overwhelmed then acknowledge the feeling and remember to be compassionate with yourself.  Everything happens for a reason and every emotion has a meaning but we can acknowledge the event and allow ourselves to be understanding that it is occurring.  It is hard to practice self-compassion at times but it is also the most rewarding experience you can give yourself.  Remember - this too shall pass.  
• Meditation is one of the best ways to connect with our true self.  When we meditate we kind of disrupt the emotions and thoughts because we are focusing on something different - a new attention.  Some meditations include mantras which can allow our mind to detach from the emotional disruption we are dealing with buy allowing us to experience the calm and quiet of the inner self.  When we learn to let go, even for a few minutes, we learn how to get rid of old ways of thinking and feeling.  We learn to heal ourselves.  

While these practices seem fairly simplistic, they can also be very difficult.  In today's world we often forget how to disconnect and relax.  As a result most people repress their emotions, keeping them bottled up inside or dismissing them as a nuisance.  Unfortunately that can lead to a very unhappy life and sometimes to severe depression - something which I have personally dealt with for years.  When I was a kid I used to hide all my emotions because I was told I was too sensitive about everything.  When I was a kid I learned how to bottle things up inside and to save myself from being ridiculed - not necessarily by my family but by others.  I learned to be alone because it was peaceful and quiet.  At the time I didn't know how much of an empath I was but I knew I was different.  When I had children I focused on them, when I got divorced I focused on my kids, when I felt alone I pushed it aside - yes, I was the strong one.  But that didn't mean I was at peace.  Actually I was always sad and crying myself to sleep but no one ever knew it because I hid it from the world.  My kids got older and I realized I was going to need to find myself or I would be alone and miserable when they went away to school.  So I started doing something I hadn't done in years - I started meditating in my room or late at night but when the kids were not around.   

I learned that meditating allowed me to focus on me - solely and completely - even if it was only for a short time period.  I started by focusing on one of my favorite flowers - the water lily.  The water lily symbolizes love and life as well as enlightenment.  I wanted to love life fully with passion so it called to me as I meditated.  I would take the time to concentrate on the picture and note how many petals there were, smell the sweet smell of the flower and note the peaceful water it sat on.  It wasn't much but the quick meditations did eventually become longer and more powerful.  I was able to learn to feel the emotions and work through them thus letting them go - all while meditating and simply allowing myself to process the emotions.  It sounds simple but it really wasn't at first.  It did become a staple for my learning how to heal emotional wounds though.   Eventually I let go of so much that people said I changed - I didn't change I just allowed myself to feel and taught myself to let go.  

Anyone can do this - it is a really simple and effective technique but you have to repeat it daily to earn the full benefits.   Eventually your emotions that have been buried for so long will pass.  Just remember to make this a daily practice in your life as it does help you deal with so much.