Finding your balance

Finding your balance can mean multiple things but to me it is living with peace and balance everyday.   Although balance can mean different things to different people, it has a pretty basic meaning to me.   I find time for family and friends while also finding time for myself.  I find time to meditate, to reflect on things, to exercise, to sleep, I eat healthy, I take care of myself, and when a friend or family member needs me I take care of them as well.  I also ensure that clients and I meet to go through things regularly and that my spiritual well-being is taken care of.  When my kids were young I found it difficult to find time for myself and didn't have the balance I needed most of the time.   As a single parent I ensured their well-being was the most important thing and often would ignore my own self-care because there were simply not enough hours in the day.  As the girls grew older I found more time for myself and now that they are adults and on their own - I have more time than ever to devote to self-care.  That is not to say that I didn't have balance in my life but that my balance was different than what most people thought it should be - it was based on my life circumstances and the things going on in my little part of the world.

So how does one find balance in their own lives?  It is simple and yet complicated because everyone has their own balance, their own rhythm, their own way of dealing with the chaos of life.  However, there are a few fairly simple ways to get started if you don't know here to start.  


1.)  Breathe

Sounds really simple right?  Breathe.  I mean we breathe daily, often, and yet it is a way to find a calm that most people overlook.   Take a moment and think about this.  Do you take the time, in the midst of pure chaos, to stop and breathe?  Most people don't which is why they panic or have an overwhelming sense of anxiety hit them like a tidal wave.  When you take a moment to close your eyes, take a deep breath in and let it out slowly - you can calm yourself down.  I perform breathing exercises numerous times throughout the day just to ensure I am present in the moment, to ensure that I have focus and am mindful.  Deep breathe in through my nose, hold it for a couple of seconds then slowly release it out through my mouth.  I repeat this a few times and it is dependent on whether I have lots of chaos around me or if I just need to find my focus because I am multi-tasking on several things.  It is a way to center my mind and relax.

2.)  Self Care

I give myself a break every few hours just to breathe - yep every few hours.  I also ensure that I stretch every morning with some yoga stretches and that I meditate before my day begins.  It takes me 20 minutes each morning but I do the same thing every night before bed too.  For me that is usually enough but there are days where I just go for a walk by myself that can be 20 minutes to a few hours.  I will even veg out in front of the TV for a movie or show that I enjoy - it is me time and that is what each of us need, time for ourselves.  

3.)  Journaling

I have this notebook where I write down thoughts and feelings.  Every few days I take a little time to reflect on the things that I wrote and understand why I wrote them down.  I acknowledge those feelings or thoughts.  Sometimes my journal is about a dream I had that I wanted to remember because there may be a message in it that I needed to understand.  Sometimes my journal is about a situation at work that irritated me.  Sometimes it is just gibberish that I wrote down about anything and everything that popped into my head.  Journaling is something that is personal but it does help me get through some emotional situations better than I used to.  

4.)  Meditation

Meditation reduces blood pressure, reduces stress, increases concentration, regulates your mood, and decreases anxiety.  However did you know that meditation can also enhance your self-awareness?  Meditation requires you to concentrate on yourself fully and to be more aware of your thoughts.  Meditation can also reduce any feelings of loneliness and depression that you have.  One of my favourite forms of meditation is metta which is a loving-kindness meditation.  It starts with developing kind thoughts and feelings toward yourself and, through practice, extending this kindness and forgiveness towards others. 

5.)  Sleep

I used to run on just a few hours of sleep which did not actually benefit me.  Today I often sleep a few hours at a time but I do get between 6 and 8 hours of sleep each night.  Sleep is something we all need and it is still my biggest struggle at times to get a truly peaceful nights rest.  If I have a hard time sleeping at night I will go back to meditation and breathing exercises which help me to fall asleep. 

Above all else remember that finding your balance is not something that happens overnight or instantaneously.  Finding balance is a process that takes time and occasionally it takes more effort than it did before.  Self-care is a constant struggle or challenge for some people while it is quite easy for others.  We are all different in how we deal with things but it is an important part of your life that you may be missing.  The best advice I can give is that you find your balance in the way that suits your lifestyle but above all else - find your balance.