Tina's Blog

There are no words to describe the grief you feel after loving a loved one - especially around the holidays.  Sometimes you just feel numb but it’s kind of more than that.  Sometimes you feel depressed but it’s more than that. It’s hard to describe really and it’s okay. It’s just the way things are now especially the first holiday season after the loss.   My mother loved the holidays more than any other time of the year. For her it was a time to be thankful and grateful for all the blessings in her life. She had a hard childhood and vowed that her kids would not so she always made sure we understood the holidays and what they meant to her.  Christmas was a big holiday for her - partly because of her Catholic upbringing and faith but also because it meant that she could watch us open gifts that she had saved up for. Each gift meant something different to us but even if it was just underwear we know that it came from a place of love.  I found myself torn this year...

We all have so many blessings in our lives. And yet most of the time we fail to notice them. We don't recognize them properly, forget them, or simply take them for granted.    We lose sight of them, and that's a critical mistake.    In reality, these little things have a huge impact on our lives. That's why we should learn to recognize their value. Appreciating the little things in life means that you focus your attention on what nurtures and sustains you in life. On everything that brings you even the smallest amount of pleasure.   It also means practicing gratitude by noticing these everyday things that you take for granted so easily.     By appreciating small things in life, you won't stop bad stuff from happening. But you'll learn how to stop emphasizing the meaning of bad events to your life.     Consequently, you'll find a valuable source of mental balance. Once you take a moment to appreciate an act of kindness coming from someone you ...

Learning to live without someone definitely has its challenges.  It can leave us depressed if the loss is due to death. This depression comes in waves that can feel crushing but through the depression comes a sense of peace.  It is hard to understand until you experience it.  I guess the best way to explain it is that you feel a calm blanket of love come over you while also feeling like you’re getting a bear hug from the one you lost and you just know they are okay. It brings tears of joy and a warm heart filled with love.  Each day I am reminded of the love my mother had for her husband, her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. It shines in the smiles and laughter when my grandson points to her picture and says “Great-gramma”.  It is in the memories of her colouring with him and playing hot wheels, in the memories of the time she held her great-granddaughter and fed her, in the silly pictures with my daughters from when they were little or even in t...

It has been awhile since I last posted but the past year has been a bit depressing for us all and I needed to feel it, live it, embrace it.  As I write this I am also filled with loss and grief that I am working through.  I lost my mother in January 22, 2021 after she battled Covid.  She fought to survive but the years of health issues were enough for Covid to win the fight.  I miss her dearly but I know she is still with us all.  I have picked up the phone a few times to call her and check in - I used to do that a lot.  Eventually I will get past that empty hollow feeling as it hits me again that she is gone.  I’ve spent a lot of time meditating and praying since the year started, mainly to find a path to peace for myself but also to keep my faith strong.  I have discovered a few things about grief that no one really tells you about and even if they did you wouldn’t believe them until you experience it yourself.  Grief is a struggle to deal ...

Let's face it we are all lonely, scared and afraid of the world today - even if we don't admit it.  For those of us living alone the current pandemic has made loneliness a much bigger issue than before.  Sometimes the quiet and alone time is appreciated on many levels but these days it can be very depressing because we are all affected by the social distancing requirements in different ways. Social isolation puts individuals at a greater risk for developing anxiety and depression but it can also worsen other pre-existing mental health conditions.  Isolation has the potential to be traumatic especially for those with trauma histories and PTSD.  Isolation is not just physically being alone, it can also be mentally being alone. But there are things you can do to deal with the loneliness and the mental anguish it can cause. Keeping in contact with other human beings is the most important thing you can do to fight loneliness. Another thing that’s great is getting outside...

Social distancing and isolation can have a terrible affect on someone with anxiety and depression issues.  What is worse is when you are totally alone - no one to talk to, cuddle with.  You begin to feel an ache that no one else understands because well all your friends have families or loved ones with them in their isolation.  And to be honest, there is no way you can ever explain it to your friends in a way they would understand.  You see, sometimes people just assume that you are good with being alone because you have been for so long.  Truth is that I enjoy my alone time, I really do, but it has to be on my terms and when I want to go hang out with a friend I just call or text and pop over.  I can't do that right now and it is depressing.  Early in the shutdown one of my best friends stopped by to drop off homemade masks for me, my oldest and another friend.  It was nice to see her (albeit 6 feet away) but I could really have used a hug...

Emotional Intelligence is defined as the ability to monitor one's own and other people's emotions, to discriminate between different emotions and label them appropriately, and to use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior.   Today more than ever it is important to truly understand Emotional Intelligence within the work environment because, well, it is a scary time we live in.  In some ways, business mirrors biology. As Darwin surmised, those who survive “are not the strongest or the most intelligent, but the most adaptable to change.” It’s the responsibility of leaders to show empathy, unprecedented optimism, and flexibility that will lead business out of this crisis. It may all come down our ability to self-direct and problem-solve on a regular basis.   Keep in mind that this event is impacting everyone, not just you and your business. Reminding yourself that you have no idea what other people are going through will center you and mak...

Change is inevitable Change. A word that conjures up fear in some and eagerness in others. Change is inevitable. Without change life would be boring. Why do some fear change? Why do some eagerly await change? Fear of change is generally rooted in the fact that most of us have a routine that we move thru on a daily basis. When the routine is set off course it disrupts us. Sometimes the disruption is pleasant and sometimes it is painful. At the end of the day the change had to happen but it doesn't mean it was easy and sometimes it is a rare treat. Eagerness of change is generally rooted in the fact that most of us deny the adventurous part of our souls. When we take the opportunity to be adventurous we have fun. Having fun is what reminds us that change can be enjoyable and that we are alive. Change happens all the time around us. Sometimes we forget to take time and look around to notice it. Perhaps it is a coworkers hair cut or a new outfit that just sui...

Oh my - it has been awhile since I posted anything and for that I truly apologize.  Unfortunately life got pretty chaotic for awhile.  It took me some time to find my balance again but also to re-light my desires.  It started with an organizational change at work but then continued into the holiday season.  Then, on my way to an early morning appointment, I had an encounter with an earth angel that snapped me right out of it.  I will explain that more later... Sometimes we go through periods of depression that we cannot explain.  This is a fairly common issue for me unfortunately but I tend to snap out of it fairly easily.  This year, it has been a tad harder because of a torn rotator cuff and subsequent surgery.  As I am healing from the surgery and going through PT three times a week, I have finally started to climb out of the depression that has held me under for months.  I am finally seeing things in a more relaxed and calmer ligh...

Throughout our lives we search for the right tools and ideas to help make our lives meaningful, authentic and rich. It is like a treasure hunt along our journey in life.   We have these “aha” moments, and there is this wonderful recognition and we realize that this new idea or tool is exactly what is needed to help you along in your life journey. The Mental Room This room houses your thoughts, beliefs, assumptions, and thinking patterns.   Paying attention to this room is important so you are not stuck in old thinking patterns but are open to learning and growing.    Deepak Chopra has said that more than  80% of our thinking is the same as yesterday.   The power of thought is one of the most creative forces in the universe. Some would say –  the  most powerful.   We do not usually give a second thought to thinking, but our thoughts are constantly creating our experiences.   The language we use – to thin...

Outside my normal 9 to 5 job - I do other things that some people find unusual.  Not that long ago one of my dear friends finally realized just how spiritual I was.   I keep most personal things pretty close to my chest but I do open up to others.  Over the past 10 years or so I have become more passionate about my spirituality including the gifts that were bestowed upon me.   I don't always talk about them but my gifts are a huge part of who I am.   A few years ago I came upon a young woman who needed guidance and I was given a message to give her which turned into a coaching relationship that I have treasured.  She is doing so much better now and we continue to stay in contact.  The next person that I encountered who I just knew needed help and guidance has been more of a challenge - but addiction and grief will do that.   We continue to work on things but holidays, anniversary dates, birthdays - they all bring up many memor...